Thank you.

The days and weeks passed us by in a flurry of activity. It seemed that our lives had finally begun to level out. In the middle of November we celebrated Remi reaching four months old. Teri and I each spent quite a bit of time reminiscing and talking to friends and family about the colt and our experiences with him. Every day brought a new cute or funny or frustrating story to tell. I spoke to my great aunt over the phone (she and my great uncle live in a small town in Iowa) and told her about Remi. My mother sent her photos and we talked about his life and my struggles. I confided in her that money was a problem, simply because we did not anticipate having to pay for all the extras that a new baby entails.

Although a foal certainly is not as expensive as a child, they do come with additional financial liability. There's the cost of all the vet bills, extra feed they both consume, an increased farrier's bill, and the cost of the vaccines and boosters Remi would require, since Rose was not inoculated properly as a pregnant mare. And those funds don't even include all the money we spent on lumber, hardware, paint, and labor hours to make both the foaling and now the weanling stalls safe and livable.

My wonderful aunt, whom I refer to as Auntie, offered to send us some money to help.
"Oh Auntie, I couldn't take anything from you. I really didn't mean to insinuate, I just needed to complain."
"Honey I want to be involved! I live so far away that I think this is my only opportunity to help you right now. We're not sure if we'll be able to come out for Christmas this year so please let me help." she assured me.
"Well, it would be very helpful... Thank you, thank you so much." I assented gratefully.

As much as things have appeared to happen easily for us concerning the horses, I can tell you with confidence that we have had a difficult time. We could not have possibly hoped to make it through Remi's birth and first few months without the support, time, and money that our friends and families have contributed. My aunt is only one of many people who have offered us help. I feel so very fortunate to have such wonderful people in our lives, truly every bit of assistance has made a big difference - not only in our lives, but in Rose and Remi's lives as well. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you to my wife, Teri. Teri has been forced into this situation even more so than myself, as I bought Rose without Teri's knowledge over a year ago. Teri accepted this major purchase with grace (and some well-deserved anger directed at me). Then after we purchased our home, I discovered the pregnancy. Again, Teri showed me what unconditional love really looks like. She was in disbelief at first, then anxious and afraid of the consequences we were about to be faced with. Both of us were scared. Instead of withdrawing into disappointment and despair, Teri dove headfirst into preparations for the baby. She stayed with me at the barn every single night - enduring scary evenings filled with packs of coyotes, the heat of a Tucson summer and monsoon season, countless insect bites and sunsets punctuated by the smoke from citronella candles. She woke up at four o'clock in the morning every weekday, as my work schedule dictated that I arrive at work at 5:00am. She lifted straw bales and bags of feed, she spread bedding and hauled stagnant water barrels out of the stall to be washed out - my surgery was not even a week before we found out Rose was pregnant and I was not allowed to lift anything. She walked and bathed Rose, she checked on Rose while I was at work. She brushed and combed and picked out feet. She cut plywood, drilled holes and installed it around the foaling stall. Teri put up three box fans around Rose's stall to help keep her cool. On the morning Remi was born, Teri made a five am trip to WalMart to purchase baby bottles, snacks and drinks to keep us awake and a baby name book. When I had to leave for work, Teri stayed with the horses and was able to successfully bottle-feed Remi for his first four hours of life, as he would not nurse. She called the vet out to treat Rose for her retained placenta, she mucked out the stall and replaced all the bedding after the vet had gone. Poor Teri even had to place the placenta into a bucket for later examination. When I panicked and started to believe I wasn't going to be able to raise this foal, she comforted and reassured me that I could do it. She has put herself into countless situations where she was unsure and maybe even nervous - but she has always done herself and me proud. A true "natural", Teri has been able to remain cool-headed under fire and use common sense to get her through the struggles. For all these things and countless others that would fill a book, I will forever be grateful. Teri, thank you for sticking with me, even when I'm less than perfect. Remi has been an exercise in humility and you've made it easier. I love you very much.

Thank you to Gene and LeEllen. If Teri was an innocent victim of my reckless impulsiveness, you two are victims once-removed. You both are angels on earth. For countless breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, I am in your debt. You offered to stay at the barn for us when we were spent with exhaustion. You came and spent so many evenings with us and Rose, keeping our minds occupied with laughter and conversation. You were so excited about the baby, even when I was apprehensive. You bought us plywood when we couldn't agree on how to utilize too few pieces of it, you brought another gallon of primer when we couldn't afford the last one we needed. You've transferred money into Teri's account to help us when we couldn't quite make the electric bill - and maybe a little extra (don't think I didn't notice!). You came to visit the morning of Remi's birth and took photos - and you still do that! You have both provided an ear when I needed to complain and an extra hand when we couldn't do it alone. For all these things and more, I will forever be grateful. Thank you for being involved in our lives.

Thank you to my mother and father. Thank you for giving me the gift that started it all - a little grey mare named Dreamer. I was the twelve year old girl who wanted a horse more than anything in the world - just like most twelve year old girls. You were the parents who saw that my obsession was more than passing fancy. You were the parents who used all their extra resources to give me my first horse. When my abilities surpassed Dreamer, you bought me Rocky. When Rocky went lame, you took him to the vet and listened to the doctor tell me that he could never compete again - and when I ran sobbing from the office, Mom followed me while Dad had to pay the bill with tears in his eyes. You bought me a project horse to take to college, you bought me a horse trailer that Zeke would actually get into, and you paid for the farrier and board while I lived in Tucson. When I bought Rose, you were excited for me. Mom came down to visit and took photos of us. You both came to visit and Mom was the first one to comment that Rose was looking a little 'fat' - even when I refused to see a pregnancy, Mom saw it. You both were so excited when we determined she really was pregnant! You encouraged us to try and keep him, and supported me when I cried because I thought we couldn't afford it. You drove the two hours to come see Rose and Remi on the day he was born, and you've made so many visits since then, always making sure to take some of my very favorite photographs. You call Remi your grandhorse. You've slipped me gas money and looked the other way for the past six months when I couldn't pay you the truck payment. You helped me pay doctor bills leftover from surgery when we didn't have the funds. You stood by us and told us we could do it, even when we were full of doubt. You've encouraged me to keep writing and helped me edit entries. For all these things and more, I will forever be grateful. Thank you for having confidence.

To Berto, Katie, Julie, Becca and Mya. Thank you all for going the distance. Berto, Becca, and Mya all slept next to Rose at some point during the infamous 26 Tucson Sunsets it took to get us Remi. Everyone spent innumerable evenings outside Rose's stall with us. All of you have donated your time and effort and love to these two horses, and to me and Teri. None of you have horse backgrounds, yet all of you have stepped up to learn how to help us. Berto has come to visit and work with Remi, and spent eight hours helping us paint and put up plywood in the weanling stall. Katie brought a router from Centennial Hall and also spent the day working in the hot August sun. Becca and Mya consistently come to play with Remi, taking hundreds of pictures and watching him grow. They even have ridden Thumper! Katie has taken a number of lessons on Thumper and is becoming quite the accomplished rider, and Julie has begun learning how to ride as well. Berto spent that first anxiety-ridden evening working on Rose's foaling stall with Teri, running back and forth from the house to the barn with forgotten items and helping put up the plywood. He drove out to the barn at 2:00am to see Remi when he was brand new, he struggled alongside us to get Remi to stand and nurse on his own. He took some of the very first photos of the baby and new mama. For all these things and more, I will be forever grateful to you all. Every single one of you has been so vital to Remi's little life, and you've been a support network that I could have only dreamed of.

Thank you to Catherine Carlson. A good friend and a veterinarian who I had the pleasure of working with, Catherine spent many nights on the phone with me when I was worried about Rose's pregnancy, or vaccinations, or care. She was the first to respond after the foal was born, even at 1:30 in the morning. She came from Casa Grande to visit Rose and Remi, and offered to come down to stitch Rose's nostril up when she cut it. For answering all my questions, commiserating with my annoyances, giving me sound advice and convincing me that everything would be fine, I'm so thankful. I also want to thank Catherine's mother, Ruth Carlson, for supporting us and coming to visit Remi and Rose.

Thank you to my cousin Nathan, Venus and kids, Metal, our old family friend Blake Bedell, Katy, Virg, Bionic Barb and kids, Tiffany, Kian and James, Pat from LeEllen's work, Bat and Pat, Katejordan, Rebecca, Berto's girlfriend Tiffany and her mother, my great aunt and uncle, Becca's parents, friends and their daughter, Boom, Iva, Shannon, Eric, Ben, Aunt Claudie and everyone else who came to visit us and the horses.

Thank you to Grandma Nan, my grandparents, Dennis and Carrie, Dave, Christina, Jill, Erin, Jen, Jocelyn, some of my first horsey friends Merlena and Kayla and Melissa, Sam and Matt, Ryan, my brother Hayden and his girlfriend Jen, and all those others out there who have wished us well but been unable to come and see Remi.

A big thank you to Linda MacDowall, the woman who adopted Rose out to me. She has been so wonderful throughout this ordeal, helping us figure out who the sire is and get in contact with those people, as well as expressing her sincere sorrow that she inadvertently sold us a (secretly) pregnant horse.

Thanks to everyone at the barn who has helped in some way. Our good friend George donated a mist system to keep the horses cool, and offered us his ear for sorrows and complaints. Our friend Kate checked on Rose every day and happily let me yammer on about pregnancy and birth at every turn.

I'm sure there are so many more people who have been involved and need thanking, but my brain is burned out and I cannot remember any more. If anybody knows of someone else who deserves my thanks, please PLEASE leave a comment and remind me.

Throughout this experience, I have been overwhelmed with the generosity and kindness of spirit that have been shown us. I simply can't thank everyone enough. I appreciate every single ounce of support, every single cent, every minute of labor, every precious photograph, every smile, every kind pat given to the horses, every comment and note of encouragement. I am full of gratitude.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Back in the saddle again

I was so ready to start riding Rose again. And then she cut open her nose. I could have ridden her with the injury, but I didn't think it was the wisest idea because she was on twice daily penicillin injections. I waited until a few days after the injections were completed before saddling her up again.
I put both Rose and Remi into the large round pen and worked them both in circles to get some of the excess energy siphoned off. After a few minutes, I stopped them. Remi was still young and easily tired and Rose had worked out a few of her wild oats, which would prevent her from feeling completely wild and crazy when I got on her back after a four month break.
I left them in the round pen to wander while I trudged back into the tack room to gather my saddle and bridle. I put the saddle on a railing and hung the bridle off the saddle horn. Then I caught Rose and tied her to the fence. I lifted the saddle pad onto her back and settled it over her withers. I swung the saddle up over her back and adjusted it into place.
Up until now, Remi was wandering the fenceline, munching on the few weeds and pieces of grass that sprung up through the gravel. But when he saw that saddle being swung onto his mother, he was intrigued. He had never seen such a thing before in his short lifetime and it was high time to investigate. I pulled the cinch under her belly and tightened it up, then reached around her chest and grabbed the breast collar. I buckled it at her shoulder and connected the strap between her forelegs to the cinch. While I was working at Rose's left side, Remi was coyly examining this new strange piece of equipment. I peeked around Rose's chest and Remi had one stirrup clutched between his teeth, chewing on the rubber cushion. He pricked his ears forward and looked at me guiltily, as if he was saying,
"What? I wasn't doing anything..." and then he promptly dropped the stirrup.

He sniffed and nosed every inch of the saddle that he could reach, making sure to lick and chew on all the leather straps he could get into his little mouth.
I unbuckled Rose's halter and let the nose piece slip off her muzzle, then re-buckled it around her neck. I slid the bit between her teeth and pulled the bridle over her ears. Took the halter off and flipped the reins over her head. We were finally ready to go for a ride.


Horses can understand when their handler or rider is agitated, scared, excited, reckless, confident, or petrified. They are very attuned to body language, to how tightly you grip the reins or how rigid your body is in the saddle. However, they cannot judge these emotions by anything other than body language. Over the years I've taught my body how to relax even when my heart is racing and the blood is pounding in my ears. As I led Rose to the middle of the round pen, I did my best to appear relaxed and confident, which is what Rose needs to perform her best. Rose needs a person who knows what they're doing and who is brave enough for both the horse and rider. She gains confidence or fear from the person on her back.
I know Rose. She knows me. She and Teri and I had experienced a terrifying, wonderful, rewarding period of time together and that only improved our relationship. But I was still nervous about our first time back under saddle.
I took a deep breath and stroked Rose's forehead. I put my left toe in the stirrup and lifted myself into the saddle. I settled myself into the seat and put my other foot into the right stirrup. Rose stood and waited for me patiently.
"Alright Rosie, walk on." I nudged her forward. Her ears swiveled back to listen to me, then pricked forward as she energetically stepped out.
Remi found the idea of me sitting on Rose to be quite unusual. He trotted alongside us for a few minutes but quickly bored of trying to keep up. He fell back to a walk and contented himself with nosing through the sand. Every once in awhile he would come careening towards us at full tilt and then skim off behind us at the last second. Rose ignored him. It felt to me like she was refusing to allow him to take away the first bit of "personal time" she'd had since he was born.


She worked proudly underneath me, quickly performing each turn, stop, and gait change. We trotted and loped circles, changed direction, performed large figure 8s. I didn't ride for very long, Rose was out of shape and needed to work back up slowly. But for that precious half hour, all was right with the world. The fading sun shone on our faces, the breeze lifted the hairs off our sweaty necks and together we felt joyous.